Saturday, April 7, 2012
10:27am
Málaga, sitting on the terrace at the hostel, back in the shade because I can´t see in the sun. John is sitting at a table with some other travelers swapping stories. They seem to know where WVU is. Besides some random popping in the private bathroom while I was showering this morning, the trip has gone well so far.
We flew out of Valladolid with Ryan Air yesterday at 6pm, and arrived in Málaga at 7:10. The flight into this city was the most beautiful I´d ever been on. We went from snow capped mountains, to much more rugged mountains with lakes and windmills within minutes. The intense green was reminiscent of the Amazon, and I even saw a rainbow as we descended.
At the airport we took Cercanías (short distance trains throughout Spain) to the city center. From there, we were supposed to take a bus to the hostel. That didn´t exactly work out... we spent a lot of time looking for this mythical bus stop, and finally gave in to the temptations of Double Whoppers and a taxi. Got here, got settled in... the staff was very welcoming, giving us a full tour of the hostel and inviting us to a complementary drink at the bar, where John and I had a beer and a mojito, respectively, and the sweet wine given to us by the owner.
We enjoyed the drinks on the terrace under a full moon (the moon from the taxi ride was enormous) until we got cold, then we warmed up for a bit and later walked to the beach where we sat on a rocky jetty, watching the waves crash against rocks as the moon pulled the tide in. Loved it. Oh- and I found a sea shell already! (a good one, too, not just one of those crushed up dinky mussel shells you can find any day) Sleep didn´t come immediately in a 10-person dorm style bedroom, but eventually, we did get some rest.
Breakfast was decent for a hostel. Coffee, although it had to be rewarmed, did readily exist. Cornflakes and oranges were also provided, so I was satisfied.
Now we are just waiting on the walking tour to begin so that we can see a bit of what´s around us, and I imagine we´ll spend a few hours today on the beach as well.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Thursday, April 5, 2012
John and Casie Do Spain Day 2
Thursday, April 5, 2012
John made it safely to Valladolid yesterday, despite a delay in New York when the wheel rolled of the plane of his Delta flight while taxiing around. I left my apartment a little before 1pm to catch the bus to the airport to meet him. However, on my way to the bus stop (which is, in itself, a 40-minute walk), my left calf, which has been in spasm off an on the last couple days, seized up completely. I was feeling distraught, as the nearest taxi stop was still a considerable distance away. Fortunately, just about that time, an empty taxi was driving past, I hobbled out into the road, and got in. He dropped me at my bus stop, not just the plaza, because I was clear that I didn´t think I could walk across the plaza at that point. Caught the bus, went to the airport, hung out in the cafetería for over an hour (the bus to the airport only runs every 90 minutes so it was either be early or late), had a café con leche and bocadillo de tortilla while planning my conversation class for the evening, and finally met John. I was so nervous that something would go wrong in Barcelona, mostly due to my forgetting to give him a piece of vital information, but he made it. Not only that, but he made it just minutes before the bus that would save us about 15€ worth of taxi fees left for town. So it was a quick kiss and hello, and no time to pee, and we were already on the bus. It was a bit disorienting to have him here at first.
Came back here to the apartments, got him checked in (because Big Brother is always watching and called my apartment immediately when we walked in without checking in first... his papers were up here IN the apartment... relax, guy.), I emailed myself some stuff for class, and then he came with me to my conversation class.
The first thing my students had to do was a listening exam, which always just... blows their minds. Then we did a sort of class wrap up of all the topics we´ve discussed so far in class, recapping important things that they ¨may or may not¨ see on their final exam. They got in a debate/fight, which is always good and entertaining for me, but also serves its pedagogical purpose in that they are more willing to communicate in English when they are pissed off at each other. So I like to keep them mad... Then John played show and tell pet for about an hour. I didn´t think they would be quite that interested in talking to him, but it was good, both for them and for him, I think. So, he´s already talked to some locals.
I felt bad for this next bit, John making us dinner after 24 hours of traveling, but I had a Skype interview at 10pm for a potential summer job helping school children keep up their literacy over summer. I really hope I get the job... I think the interview went well, but it´s never easy to tell whether you will get something or not. So I´m just keeping my fingers crossed at this point and hoping.
Savannah and her mom got home about the time I finished the interview, so we chatted with them while having our dinner. I did the dishes, and we went to bed. John was snoring almost immediately.
Savannah and her mother just left for Alicante- they are doing a bus/train tour of the northeastern part of Spain here over Semana Santa. John and I are headed to Malaga tomorrow afternoon, and I think today we´ll just walk around Valladolid a bit and maybe try to make it to a Semana Santa procession tonight about 8:30pm. I would like to see one. Anyway, out for now to grab some money-saving lunch at home and then get walking (hopefully my leg cooperates today).
John made it safely to Valladolid yesterday, despite a delay in New York when the wheel rolled of the plane of his Delta flight while taxiing around. I left my apartment a little before 1pm to catch the bus to the airport to meet him. However, on my way to the bus stop (which is, in itself, a 40-minute walk), my left calf, which has been in spasm off an on the last couple days, seized up completely. I was feeling distraught, as the nearest taxi stop was still a considerable distance away. Fortunately, just about that time, an empty taxi was driving past, I hobbled out into the road, and got in. He dropped me at my bus stop, not just the plaza, because I was clear that I didn´t think I could walk across the plaza at that point. Caught the bus, went to the airport, hung out in the cafetería for over an hour (the bus to the airport only runs every 90 minutes so it was either be early or late), had a café con leche and bocadillo de tortilla while planning my conversation class for the evening, and finally met John. I was so nervous that something would go wrong in Barcelona, mostly due to my forgetting to give him a piece of vital information, but he made it. Not only that, but he made it just minutes before the bus that would save us about 15€ worth of taxi fees left for town. So it was a quick kiss and hello, and no time to pee, and we were already on the bus. It was a bit disorienting to have him here at first.
Came back here to the apartments, got him checked in (because Big Brother is always watching and called my apartment immediately when we walked in without checking in first... his papers were up here IN the apartment... relax, guy.), I emailed myself some stuff for class, and then he came with me to my conversation class.
The first thing my students had to do was a listening exam, which always just... blows their minds. Then we did a sort of class wrap up of all the topics we´ve discussed so far in class, recapping important things that they ¨may or may not¨ see on their final exam. They got in a debate/fight, which is always good and entertaining for me, but also serves its pedagogical purpose in that they are more willing to communicate in English when they are pissed off at each other. So I like to keep them mad... Then John played show and tell pet for about an hour. I didn´t think they would be quite that interested in talking to him, but it was good, both for them and for him, I think. So, he´s already talked to some locals.
I felt bad for this next bit, John making us dinner after 24 hours of traveling, but I had a Skype interview at 10pm for a potential summer job helping school children keep up their literacy over summer. I really hope I get the job... I think the interview went well, but it´s never easy to tell whether you will get something or not. So I´m just keeping my fingers crossed at this point and hoping.
Savannah and her mom got home about the time I finished the interview, so we chatted with them while having our dinner. I did the dishes, and we went to bed. John was snoring almost immediately.
Savannah and her mother just left for Alicante- they are doing a bus/train tour of the northeastern part of Spain here over Semana Santa. John and I are headed to Malaga tomorrow afternoon, and I think today we´ll just walk around Valladolid a bit and maybe try to make it to a Semana Santa procession tonight about 8:30pm. I would like to see one. Anyway, out for now to grab some money-saving lunch at home and then get walking (hopefully my leg cooperates today).
Monday, March 5, 2012
lunes
Lunes el 5 de marzo de 2012
Estoy en la biblioteca de la Facultad de Filosofía y Letras... estoy aquí porque enseñé a las niñas Aroa y Laura hoy en el Paseo del Cauce. Aunque andé en bici, no tenía ganas de ir al piso otra vez solamente para regresar al Bar Templo a las 7:30... menos que la media hora desde ahora. Tengo una... ¿digamos cita? con una chica se llama quien encontré dentro de un programa de 4x4 en el Centro de Idiomas. Ella quiere mejorar su inglés, y yo, por supuesto, quiero mejorar mi español. Así tenemos una cita por un café... o en mi caso, té porque no quiero seguir estando despierta hasta las 3 de la mañana, especialmente cuando ya he tenido un días muy lleno y agotador. Me levanté a las 8:30. Comé el cereal y tomé el café como siempre y me fui a la facultad para las clases de la historia del arte. La clase llamada Espacios y Sociedades era interesante. La profesora era actualmente preparada y lista para desarrollar su tema de manera ordenada. Patrimonio me llevo un poco peor. La iconografía era así así, pero era demasiado lento. No obstante, tuve la oportunidad de hablar con una chica brasileña que conozco un poquito (aún no tanto a recordar su nombre... :/ ). No sé por qué pensé que fue de Francia. Pues nada. Escribiría más, pero ya es la hora de irme al bar. Hasta la próxima.
Estoy en la biblioteca de la Facultad de Filosofía y Letras... estoy aquí porque enseñé a las niñas Aroa y Laura hoy en el Paseo del Cauce. Aunque andé en bici, no tenía ganas de ir al piso otra vez solamente para regresar al Bar Templo a las 7:30... menos que la media hora desde ahora. Tengo una... ¿digamos cita? con una chica se llama quien encontré dentro de un programa de 4x4 en el Centro de Idiomas. Ella quiere mejorar su inglés, y yo, por supuesto, quiero mejorar mi español. Así tenemos una cita por un café... o en mi caso, té porque no quiero seguir estando despierta hasta las 3 de la mañana, especialmente cuando ya he tenido un días muy lleno y agotador. Me levanté a las 8:30. Comé el cereal y tomé el café como siempre y me fui a la facultad para las clases de la historia del arte. La clase llamada Espacios y Sociedades era interesante. La profesora era actualmente preparada y lista para desarrollar su tema de manera ordenada. Patrimonio me llevo un poco peor. La iconografía era así así, pero era demasiado lento. No obstante, tuve la oportunidad de hablar con una chica brasileña que conozco un poquito (aún no tanto a recordar su nombre... :/ ). No sé por qué pensé que fue de Francia. Pues nada. Escribiría más, pero ya es la hora de irme al bar. Hasta la próxima.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Ocupado
Estos días son más ocupados que los del primer cuatrimestre. Estoy enseñando tres días a la semana en el Centro de Idiomas y la semana pasada empecé a dar clases particulares a dos niñas. Hoy he estado ocupada planificando la lección por ellas y escribiendo los informes semanales para lo que enseño en el Centro de Idiomas. No he parado.
Pues, empecé el día bastante tranquilamente. Me levanté a las 10 y miré dos capítulos de Dexter mientras tomando mis dos tazas de café y comiendo el cereal. Luego, fui al piso de Savannah para reunir antes de caminar al gimnasio donde encontramos con Aleks. Aleks corró mientras Savannah y yo levatamos pesas. Considerando tan lleno fue el gimnasio, yo diría que tuvimos una sesión bastante bien de ejercicios. Para mí era un día de 3-12´s. Pensé en correr un poquito también, pero la garganta estaba irritatda y no estaba segura si estaba enfermandome o no. Por eso, decidí ejercer la caución y paré con solo las pesas. Vení a casa, comí las sobras del pollo y pureé de patatas que preparé ayer por la tarde. Después, hablé un ratín en Skype con mi madre sobre los planes de la boda que intentamos tener en agusto. John se queda en el estudio de morfina, y por eso hablé un ratín con él también para que no sentiera sólo. Escribí los informes. Descansé con una sesión de Piyo de 10 minutos y sigué trabando. Hablé otra vez con la madre sobre la boda... ¿Qué más...? Preparé la lección de mañana para las chicas. Me tardé una hora y media en ella... por el precio que cargo, rechazo de dedicar más tiempo a esa tarea. Ahora supongo que debo lavar los platos y trabajar en las clases del Centro de Idiomas hasta que tengo ganas de dormir.
Pues, empecé el día bastante tranquilamente. Me levanté a las 10 y miré dos capítulos de Dexter mientras tomando mis dos tazas de café y comiendo el cereal. Luego, fui al piso de Savannah para reunir antes de caminar al gimnasio donde encontramos con Aleks. Aleks corró mientras Savannah y yo levatamos pesas. Considerando tan lleno fue el gimnasio, yo diría que tuvimos una sesión bastante bien de ejercicios. Para mí era un día de 3-12´s. Pensé en correr un poquito también, pero la garganta estaba irritatda y no estaba segura si estaba enfermandome o no. Por eso, decidí ejercer la caución y paré con solo las pesas. Vení a casa, comí las sobras del pollo y pureé de patatas que preparé ayer por la tarde. Después, hablé un ratín en Skype con mi madre sobre los planes de la boda que intentamos tener en agusto. John se queda en el estudio de morfina, y por eso hablé un ratín con él también para que no sentiera sólo. Escribí los informes. Descansé con una sesión de Piyo de 10 minutos y sigué trabando. Hablé otra vez con la madre sobre la boda... ¿Qué más...? Preparé la lección de mañana para las chicas. Me tardé una hora y media en ella... por el precio que cargo, rechazo de dedicar más tiempo a esa tarea. Ahora supongo que debo lavar los platos y trabajar en las clases del Centro de Idiomas hasta que tengo ganas de dormir.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Mi día en español
Y bueno, ya está la hora de mejorar mi español a todos costos, incluso escribir mis blogs en español. Y la verdad es que es vergonzoso; siempre estoy cometiendo errores. Pero como todos los días impongo mis alumnos escriban en inglés, supongo que yo también debo hacer la esfuerza.
Los últimos dos días han estado increiblemente llenos. Ayer, el lunes, dejé mis clases de la historia del arte... pues, para ser honesta, tampoco estoy matriculada en estos cursos todavía. Necesito matricularme lo antes como posible, pero como tuve que irme de repente a los EEUU hace una semana y media, todavía estoy atrasada en todo de mi vida española. Supongo no importa tanto porque ya planeo salir de España en mayo en vez de junio. Así, me es posible conseguir créditos en los cursos. Tampoco quiero el crédito. Tengo un montón de créditos bajograduados, y si gano más, la oficina de apoyo ecónomico no va a ayudarme más. Pero, como dejé las clases, utilicé el tiempo para calificar examenes y ensayos que hicieron mis alumnos mientras estaba yo en los EEUU. También, planifiqué una breve lección para dos niñas de las edades 6 y 11 que encontré debido al hecho que su madre es amiga de mi profesora de italiano del cuatrimestre pasado. Fue la primera vez que conocí a ellas. Son adorables e inteligentes, y creo que va a estar divertido darles las clases particulares. Después, fui a Mercandona a comprar algunas cosas y después al Centro de Idiomas para calificar más y intentar a planificar la lección de hoy. Eso no pasó, por supuesto. Pasé todo el tiempo calificando y no tuve tiempo bastante para planificar la lección. Fui a casa, comí algo pequeño (no me acuerdo de qué) y por fin, anduve al Café Shamash donde ESN estaba haciendo un Tandem. Es la primera vez que he asistido hace algunos meses, pues, porque algunas veces que me fui, no estaba muy satisfecha por la cantidad de español hablada. Pero ayer lo pasé muy bien. Tomé dos cañas y hablé con una cantidad increíble de gente, y todo era en español. No me molesta ayudar a la gente mejorar su inglés, pero hay que considerar que he cruzado el mar, he dejado el prometido por nueve meses, y me he puesto atrasada por un año en mis estudios por venir aquí y mejorar mi español. Ya he sacrificado un montón; no quiero que cada vez que me voy a un tandem, la gente me obligue a hablar en inglés todo el tiempo. Pues, bien, también, en una hora durante el día, también fui al gimnasio y corrí 60 minutos (caminé 5). Fue la primera vez hace herrí el tobillo que he estado capaz de correr así. Por eso, estaba bastante satisfecha con mi sesión de ejercicios. Por la noche, durmí más pronto que lo que es normal para mí. Me puse a dormir a la 1:30.
Hoy fue otro día muy lleno. Fui a clase... pues me quedé por dos, porque estaba perdia en la otra por no asistirla nunca. Qué mala estudiante soy yo... pero bueno... no estoy aquí para ser estudiante. Estoy aquí para mejorar mi español hablado y enseñar inglés. No siento nunca culpable por no asistir a mis clases. Puedo asistir a clases de nuevo en agosto... y joder... como voy a asistir a clases en ese tiempo. Después de clases, vení a casa para lavar los platos y comer algo. Luego, Savannah y yo fuimos al gimnasio. Ella hizo una mezcla de ejercicios. Yo solo levanté pesas. Fue mi días de 5 8´s. Es decir... 5 series de cada ejercicio con 8 repeticiones en cada serie. Es pura misería. Pero es la mejor manera de aumentar la masa muscular... ya, yo lo sé que soy una rara chica por querer aumentar la masa muscular. Pues nada. Después del gimnasio, fuimos a Mercadona... compré una pizza de microondas, lechuga, pan (siempre compro pan aquí porque está hecho todos los días... todavía era calienta a la compra) y ketchup. Comí la pizza. Me duché. Planifiqué la lección para mi clase... que pasada. Y sin más de 10 minutos extras, terminó la calificación de los ensayos. Fui a enseñar. La clase pasó bien, en mi opinión. Los alumnos eran un poco desordenados, como siempre, pero participaban... hablaban. Y bueno, ahora, estoy aquí en el sofá escribiendo esto. Ahora me voy a prepararme un sandwich de queso y calentarme una lata de sopa para comer con ello. Después a leer y hablar con John en Skype.
Los últimos dos días han estado increiblemente llenos. Ayer, el lunes, dejé mis clases de la historia del arte... pues, para ser honesta, tampoco estoy matriculada en estos cursos todavía. Necesito matricularme lo antes como posible, pero como tuve que irme de repente a los EEUU hace una semana y media, todavía estoy atrasada en todo de mi vida española. Supongo no importa tanto porque ya planeo salir de España en mayo en vez de junio. Así, me es posible conseguir créditos en los cursos. Tampoco quiero el crédito. Tengo un montón de créditos bajograduados, y si gano más, la oficina de apoyo ecónomico no va a ayudarme más. Pero, como dejé las clases, utilicé el tiempo para calificar examenes y ensayos que hicieron mis alumnos mientras estaba yo en los EEUU. También, planifiqué una breve lección para dos niñas de las edades 6 y 11 que encontré debido al hecho que su madre es amiga de mi profesora de italiano del cuatrimestre pasado. Fue la primera vez que conocí a ellas. Son adorables e inteligentes, y creo que va a estar divertido darles las clases particulares. Después, fui a Mercandona a comprar algunas cosas y después al Centro de Idiomas para calificar más y intentar a planificar la lección de hoy. Eso no pasó, por supuesto. Pasé todo el tiempo calificando y no tuve tiempo bastante para planificar la lección. Fui a casa, comí algo pequeño (no me acuerdo de qué) y por fin, anduve al Café Shamash donde ESN estaba haciendo un Tandem. Es la primera vez que he asistido hace algunos meses, pues, porque algunas veces que me fui, no estaba muy satisfecha por la cantidad de español hablada. Pero ayer lo pasé muy bien. Tomé dos cañas y hablé con una cantidad increíble de gente, y todo era en español. No me molesta ayudar a la gente mejorar su inglés, pero hay que considerar que he cruzado el mar, he dejado el prometido por nueve meses, y me he puesto atrasada por un año en mis estudios por venir aquí y mejorar mi español. Ya he sacrificado un montón; no quiero que cada vez que me voy a un tandem, la gente me obligue a hablar en inglés todo el tiempo. Pues, bien, también, en una hora durante el día, también fui al gimnasio y corrí 60 minutos (caminé 5). Fue la primera vez hace herrí el tobillo que he estado capaz de correr así. Por eso, estaba bastante satisfecha con mi sesión de ejercicios. Por la noche, durmí más pronto que lo que es normal para mí. Me puse a dormir a la 1:30.
Hoy fue otro día muy lleno. Fui a clase... pues me quedé por dos, porque estaba perdia en la otra por no asistirla nunca. Qué mala estudiante soy yo... pero bueno... no estoy aquí para ser estudiante. Estoy aquí para mejorar mi español hablado y enseñar inglés. No siento nunca culpable por no asistir a mis clases. Puedo asistir a clases de nuevo en agosto... y joder... como voy a asistir a clases en ese tiempo. Después de clases, vení a casa para lavar los platos y comer algo. Luego, Savannah y yo fuimos al gimnasio. Ella hizo una mezcla de ejercicios. Yo solo levanté pesas. Fue mi días de 5 8´s. Es decir... 5 series de cada ejercicio con 8 repeticiones en cada serie. Es pura misería. Pero es la mejor manera de aumentar la masa muscular... ya, yo lo sé que soy una rara chica por querer aumentar la masa muscular. Pues nada. Después del gimnasio, fuimos a Mercadona... compré una pizza de microondas, lechuga, pan (siempre compro pan aquí porque está hecho todos los días... todavía era calienta a la compra) y ketchup. Comí la pizza. Me duché. Planifiqué la lección para mi clase... que pasada. Y sin más de 10 minutos extras, terminó la calificación de los ensayos. Fui a enseñar. La clase pasó bien, en mi opinión. Los alumnos eran un poco desordenados, como siempre, pero participaban... hablaban. Y bueno, ahora, estoy aquí en el sofá escribiendo esto. Ahora me voy a prepararme un sandwich de queso y calentarme una lata de sopa para comer con ello. Después a leer y hablar con John en Skype.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Funeral stuff
Got back yesterday from an emergency trip home for my grandmother´s funeral. It all felt so surreal- I´m still integrating it all in my mind. One minute I´m putting the finishing touches on my lesson plans, the next John is calling me to say that my grandmother has not only been put on life support, but that she´s being taken off of it, and I´m calling Savannah to come get my lesson plans and teach my class for me. The next thing I know I´m buying a train ticket online, packing my suitcase, and waiting for John to finish the purchase of my airline ticket home. I slept two hours that night... Valentine´s Day... waking up a lot crying, imagining her face. We all knew she was ill, but we didn´t expect a fall that would cause hemorrhaging and sudden death. But that´s how it went, and really... I suppose it´s better that she didn´t have to suffer anymore. She was breaking out a lot, having more bad days than good ones, unable to eat, itching, and depressed. If it was only going to get worse from there, I´m glad she´s free of suffering now. I just wish I could talk to her again, hug her again. In honesty, the last time I hugged her, when I was leaving to go back to Morgantown before coming back to Spain after Christmas, I guess there was this sort of pressure to it. Those arms that had been so week were squeezing me with such firmness... and her eyes were filling with tears and she was looking at me hard. I felt she believed that would be the last time I saw her. But then things were going ok, as ok as it gets with advanced liver cirrhosis in someone operating on one kidney after a heart attack... and then she was just gone.
I was confused. Savannah had to basically sit on my bed and remind me to pack underwear, socks, and bras, because the only thing I remembered on my own was sweaters. Everyone was in- Erica came up from Miami, Emily drove in from Virginia, Natalie, Bryan, John and Megan made it from Clarksburg of course, I made it from Spain, and the rest of us live in the area. Jesse came down to her mom´s from Wheeling to be there for me. That meant a lot.
I felt like I wasn´t processing things for most of the time I was there. I mean, I was sort of slammed with reality on Skype, traveled for 22 hours, crossing the ocean and 6 time zones, and then I woke up in the morning and was making pancakes and eggs with Dad, and Pap-paw and Bryan were there, and Bryan was asking me to do a eulogy. I didn´t mind being asked. In fact, I thought about it on the way home, in the plane, that there was a fair chance I´d be doing that and that it would be an honor to speak about her, for her. So from that point, I felt like I just couldn´t lose it in the moment or I´d be lost and unable to do it. John, Megan, Erica, Emily, and Carly all stood up with me while I read it. Carly was crying uncontrollably behind me, so I paused for a minute to grab her. She settled down. I let her go. I kept going. Jesse was right in my line of view, so even though I had to keep my eyes on what I was reading, that gave me a visible, supportive soul to focus on. Joe was there, too, drove in with César and Claire from Morgantown. Of course, my family was there, too, but I felt more like I had to support them in that moment than to rely on them. Had I begun to think too much about them, I would have just buckled, too. I´ve given a lot of speeches, performed a lot in my day, but I never spoke with my knees knocking that hard before. Ultimately, it was OK.
She looked beautiful. The funeral home really did a good job on her. Too good. I kept feeling like she was going to get up and hug me. We were at Lori´s having lunch between viewings on Thursday, and I thought I was going to see her coming through the doorway of the kitchen into the dining room at any moment. John had something bothersome going on with his shoulder while I was home. My first thought was to tell him to ask my Mam-maw.
I really just felt disoriented the whole time I was in. Just the suddenness, not only of death, but the planning of such a long journey, and then being home when I wasn´t supposed to be... when I was supposed to be 4,000 miles a way, was just confusing to all my senses. I kept feeling like I just had to... wait it out, ride it out. I kept telling myself, this is fine, this is just the new reality as it is, and she´s at rest now.
I don´t think it was until I got on the plane in Pittsburgh that I really let the hurt all the way in. There was a woman sitting behind me, I think she was dying, but she was definitely a cancer patient, and she was traveling with a friend to Philadelphia. I think they were going to see someone for the last time. Listening to them talk, dancing around the truth, her calling herself pathetic, was just so... reminiscent of what I´d just been through. Mam-maw used to refer to herself as pathetic when she wasn´t feeling well, when she felt like all she did was complain. So I started crying on the plane, unseen, thankfully. I don´t know what I would have done if some stranger had begun trying to comfort me. I just held onto the gold heart-shaped nugget she had made out of the old chains of her mother´s jewelry while the plane took off and stared hard out the window. It felt like, taking off, I was really leaving her for the last time. I could look at her in her casket, I could visit the newly dug grave, but getting in the air, leaving the ground where she´d most recently had breath, that´s what did it.
And then I was back in Spain, also suddenly-seeming. And I figured out the train back to Valladolid, and I was in a taxi. Then I was in my bed, taking a 4-hour nap. Then I woke up and it was 3:30 in the afternoon, and I´d gone home, been with family, been to my grandmother´s funeral. I went for Mexican with Jesse and drank a huge margarita while staring at the floor and not being conversational at all. I showed my grandpa pictures of my London trip. And then... I was just... back here. Going to get groceries with Savannah. Unloading them into the refrigerator. Reading to focus my consciousness. Going for paella with Ntina, Aleks, and Savannah, again... mostly to focus my consciousness and also to keep myself awake to try to get over the jet lag sooner. Walking home from dinner, Savannah was buzzed and talking a lot to me. I felt I could not respond. I was just focusing on getting up the sidewalk and getting into my bed.
Today I slept in. Trying to let myself recuperate gradually from the stress and the jet lag so I don´t get sick. I spent hours planning my conversation class only to have a technical difficulty, rendering my Power Point presentation on Valentine´s Day incorporating the use of the conditional... useless. Usually, that would irritate me, but today it made me absolutely crazy. I taught class. It went well. I think they got something out of the role plays they did and enjoyed the class, so maybe my three hours of planning didn´t go completely to waste.
Then I went to the gym. Ran lightly on the treadmill for 40 minutes. Took it easy because I´m recuperating from several things. Two weeks before I went home I started having a flare up of tendonitis in my ankle. The next week I had a stomach bug and couldn´t eat. Then I found out about my grandma and went through jet lag to encounter grief. Then I came back. So... I just didn´t want to overdo it the first day back to it. 40 minutes running with 10 minutes walking was plenty for today.
Came home. Made some dinner... was thinking of doing porkchops and a zucchini pasta, but then I thought, the pizza I heated up for lunch due to realizing I had no bread for a grilled cheese sandwich... would dry out before tomorrow. So I reheated the rest of the pizza, fixed some broccoli and had that for dinner. Good enough.
Anyway, those are about all my thoughts right now. I need to get back to this. I feel better when I write... as negative as this post probably seems. But I needed to get that out of my system before sleeping, so... meh.
I was confused. Savannah had to basically sit on my bed and remind me to pack underwear, socks, and bras, because the only thing I remembered on my own was sweaters. Everyone was in- Erica came up from Miami, Emily drove in from Virginia, Natalie, Bryan, John and Megan made it from Clarksburg of course, I made it from Spain, and the rest of us live in the area. Jesse came down to her mom´s from Wheeling to be there for me. That meant a lot.
I felt like I wasn´t processing things for most of the time I was there. I mean, I was sort of slammed with reality on Skype, traveled for 22 hours, crossing the ocean and 6 time zones, and then I woke up in the morning and was making pancakes and eggs with Dad, and Pap-paw and Bryan were there, and Bryan was asking me to do a eulogy. I didn´t mind being asked. In fact, I thought about it on the way home, in the plane, that there was a fair chance I´d be doing that and that it would be an honor to speak about her, for her. So from that point, I felt like I just couldn´t lose it in the moment or I´d be lost and unable to do it. John, Megan, Erica, Emily, and Carly all stood up with me while I read it. Carly was crying uncontrollably behind me, so I paused for a minute to grab her. She settled down. I let her go. I kept going. Jesse was right in my line of view, so even though I had to keep my eyes on what I was reading, that gave me a visible, supportive soul to focus on. Joe was there, too, drove in with César and Claire from Morgantown. Of course, my family was there, too, but I felt more like I had to support them in that moment than to rely on them. Had I begun to think too much about them, I would have just buckled, too. I´ve given a lot of speeches, performed a lot in my day, but I never spoke with my knees knocking that hard before. Ultimately, it was OK.
She looked beautiful. The funeral home really did a good job on her. Too good. I kept feeling like she was going to get up and hug me. We were at Lori´s having lunch between viewings on Thursday, and I thought I was going to see her coming through the doorway of the kitchen into the dining room at any moment. John had something bothersome going on with his shoulder while I was home. My first thought was to tell him to ask my Mam-maw.
I really just felt disoriented the whole time I was in. Just the suddenness, not only of death, but the planning of such a long journey, and then being home when I wasn´t supposed to be... when I was supposed to be 4,000 miles a way, was just confusing to all my senses. I kept feeling like I just had to... wait it out, ride it out. I kept telling myself, this is fine, this is just the new reality as it is, and she´s at rest now.
I don´t think it was until I got on the plane in Pittsburgh that I really let the hurt all the way in. There was a woman sitting behind me, I think she was dying, but she was definitely a cancer patient, and she was traveling with a friend to Philadelphia. I think they were going to see someone for the last time. Listening to them talk, dancing around the truth, her calling herself pathetic, was just so... reminiscent of what I´d just been through. Mam-maw used to refer to herself as pathetic when she wasn´t feeling well, when she felt like all she did was complain. So I started crying on the plane, unseen, thankfully. I don´t know what I would have done if some stranger had begun trying to comfort me. I just held onto the gold heart-shaped nugget she had made out of the old chains of her mother´s jewelry while the plane took off and stared hard out the window. It felt like, taking off, I was really leaving her for the last time. I could look at her in her casket, I could visit the newly dug grave, but getting in the air, leaving the ground where she´d most recently had breath, that´s what did it.
And then I was back in Spain, also suddenly-seeming. And I figured out the train back to Valladolid, and I was in a taxi. Then I was in my bed, taking a 4-hour nap. Then I woke up and it was 3:30 in the afternoon, and I´d gone home, been with family, been to my grandmother´s funeral. I went for Mexican with Jesse and drank a huge margarita while staring at the floor and not being conversational at all. I showed my grandpa pictures of my London trip. And then... I was just... back here. Going to get groceries with Savannah. Unloading them into the refrigerator. Reading to focus my consciousness. Going for paella with Ntina, Aleks, and Savannah, again... mostly to focus my consciousness and also to keep myself awake to try to get over the jet lag sooner. Walking home from dinner, Savannah was buzzed and talking a lot to me. I felt I could not respond. I was just focusing on getting up the sidewalk and getting into my bed.
Today I slept in. Trying to let myself recuperate gradually from the stress and the jet lag so I don´t get sick. I spent hours planning my conversation class only to have a technical difficulty, rendering my Power Point presentation on Valentine´s Day incorporating the use of the conditional... useless. Usually, that would irritate me, but today it made me absolutely crazy. I taught class. It went well. I think they got something out of the role plays they did and enjoyed the class, so maybe my three hours of planning didn´t go completely to waste.
Then I went to the gym. Ran lightly on the treadmill for 40 minutes. Took it easy because I´m recuperating from several things. Two weeks before I went home I started having a flare up of tendonitis in my ankle. The next week I had a stomach bug and couldn´t eat. Then I found out about my grandma and went through jet lag to encounter grief. Then I came back. So... I just didn´t want to overdo it the first day back to it. 40 minutes running with 10 minutes walking was plenty for today.
Came home. Made some dinner... was thinking of doing porkchops and a zucchini pasta, but then I thought, the pizza I heated up for lunch due to realizing I had no bread for a grilled cheese sandwich... would dry out before tomorrow. So I reheated the rest of the pizza, fixed some broccoli and had that for dinner. Good enough.
Anyway, those are about all my thoughts right now. I need to get back to this. I feel better when I write... as negative as this post probably seems. But I needed to get that out of my system before sleeping, so... meh.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Another Week in Fitness
Sunday, January 1, 2012
1:25pm
As the title suggests, this post is simply about another week in fitness. I did pretty much the same thing this week as last week, except that I am taking my rest day today (although the idea of sitting still all day with nowhere to go and no real physical activity seems a bit overwhelming at the moment, so there is a good possibility of a walk or some yoga) instead of having taken it on Friday.
Monday- 5-8´s: About an 80-minute workout of lifting heavy (for me) weights for 5 sets of 8 for each muscle group. Abs included.
Tuesday- 60 minute run outside. Ran all the way up Río Esgueva to where you can see the big mountain in the background. I ran a little farther this week in my 60 minutes outside than last week, so I can feel myself getting stronger.
Wednesday- 32-minute recovery run. Slow speed. Short distance. Aim was just to bring fresh blood into muscles needing to repair themselves after Monday´s lifting and Tuesday´s long distance run. Did some abs at home afterwards.
Thursday- 3-12´s: About a 70-minute workout coming at each muscle group with 3 sets of 12 repetitions. Slightly easier than the workout on Monday. After resistance, did 4 sets of 2 minutes walking, 1 minute sprinting on the treadmill. Felt stronger than last week, like I could have done those sprints faster, but since I was still adjusting to a new routine, I decided to leave it.
Friday- 60-minute run on treadmill. I was actually thinking about making this just a 20-minute jog and then going to batuka, but then I decided to stay on and finish. So... it wound up being a more intense run than I was planning, because when I was originally planning to do only 20 minutes, I ran really hard to make up for it. Again, feeling stronger with my runs all this week.
Saturday- 35-minute recovery run on treadmill, 5 minutes walking to cool down. Felt tired, but that was due to going to bed at 6am and rising at 12pm. Plus, I drank a fair amount of beer the night before at a party, not enough to make me sick or even drunk, but enough to make me feel a little more groggy than usual the next day. Did abs, traps, and external rotators afterwards.
So I had 5 days that had some type of cardio, 4 that were aimed at aerobic activity, 2 of those aimed at improving it over maintaining it. One day was cardio but no aerobic, aimed at building speed.
I had 2 days aimed at building strength.
So for the most of this week I´ve felt really strong and like I could do more in my workouts. The thing is, I´m focusing on a few different things right now- speed on Thursdays, endurance on Tuesdays and Fridays (or Saturdays), and strength on Mondays and Thursdays. So if I try to make improvements to all of these at once, it´s a recipe for disaster, because there will never be a single day in the week that my body is doing what it already can. Each day will push it beyond it´s limits, and that can just lead to burn out and injury. I have to ask myself, where do I most want to make my gains? Strength, speed, or endurance? I want to say ALL OF THEM! I want to run further on my distance runs, faster on my speed drills, and I want to do more lifting. Maybe I´ll make a compromise and split it between two categories. Strength and endurance. For strength, I will *either* add a pump/burn out set on one of my lift days *or* add some strength training at the end of my recovery run on Saturday. And for endurance, I will make one of my long runs this week 65 minutes instead of 60. Little by little.
1:25pm
As the title suggests, this post is simply about another week in fitness. I did pretty much the same thing this week as last week, except that I am taking my rest day today (although the idea of sitting still all day with nowhere to go and no real physical activity seems a bit overwhelming at the moment, so there is a good possibility of a walk or some yoga) instead of having taken it on Friday.
Monday- 5-8´s: About an 80-minute workout of lifting heavy (for me) weights for 5 sets of 8 for each muscle group. Abs included.
Tuesday- 60 minute run outside. Ran all the way up Río Esgueva to where you can see the big mountain in the background. I ran a little farther this week in my 60 minutes outside than last week, so I can feel myself getting stronger.
Wednesday- 32-minute recovery run. Slow speed. Short distance. Aim was just to bring fresh blood into muscles needing to repair themselves after Monday´s lifting and Tuesday´s long distance run. Did some abs at home afterwards.
Thursday- 3-12´s: About a 70-minute workout coming at each muscle group with 3 sets of 12 repetitions. Slightly easier than the workout on Monday. After resistance, did 4 sets of 2 minutes walking, 1 minute sprinting on the treadmill. Felt stronger than last week, like I could have done those sprints faster, but since I was still adjusting to a new routine, I decided to leave it.
Friday- 60-minute run on treadmill. I was actually thinking about making this just a 20-minute jog and then going to batuka, but then I decided to stay on and finish. So... it wound up being a more intense run than I was planning, because when I was originally planning to do only 20 minutes, I ran really hard to make up for it. Again, feeling stronger with my runs all this week.
Saturday- 35-minute recovery run on treadmill, 5 minutes walking to cool down. Felt tired, but that was due to going to bed at 6am and rising at 12pm. Plus, I drank a fair amount of beer the night before at a party, not enough to make me sick or even drunk, but enough to make me feel a little more groggy than usual the next day. Did abs, traps, and external rotators afterwards.
So I had 5 days that had some type of cardio, 4 that were aimed at aerobic activity, 2 of those aimed at improving it over maintaining it. One day was cardio but no aerobic, aimed at building speed.
I had 2 days aimed at building strength.
So for the most of this week I´ve felt really strong and like I could do more in my workouts. The thing is, I´m focusing on a few different things right now- speed on Thursdays, endurance on Tuesdays and Fridays (or Saturdays), and strength on Mondays and Thursdays. So if I try to make improvements to all of these at once, it´s a recipe for disaster, because there will never be a single day in the week that my body is doing what it already can. Each day will push it beyond it´s limits, and that can just lead to burn out and injury. I have to ask myself, where do I most want to make my gains? Strength, speed, or endurance? I want to say ALL OF THEM! I want to run further on my distance runs, faster on my speed drills, and I want to do more lifting. Maybe I´ll make a compromise and split it between two categories. Strength and endurance. For strength, I will *either* add a pump/burn out set on one of my lift days *or* add some strength training at the end of my recovery run on Saturday. And for endurance, I will make one of my long runs this week 65 minutes instead of 60. Little by little.
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