Every morning you wake up...

¨Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never. In nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force, never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.¨ -Winston Churchill

This quote really resonates with me, because my whole life... I guess I´ve been a bit stubborn on things where I sense an abuse of power or might. I relentlessly petitioned my elementary school teacher for things like excessive demands (as a sixth grader, I tested at a high school senior´s reading level and therefore was only permitted to read books above my maturity level, and I also had to read more than people at lower levels. When I failed to read and test on some one thousand odd pages every month, I had to sit and read in the office, and this happened to several of us), the right to have a Valentine´s Day Party, anything my child self found important.

Now, it´s bigger topics, and I don´t always feel as involved as I could or should be. There´s a lot of protesting going on in my state right now about the Marcellus drilling. I am grateful to those who are protesting and attempting to keep those in charge in check. For my part, however, I haven´t been as involved as I could be maybe. I went to a letter writing event, signed some petitions. On my drive home from Morgantown over the last couple years, I´ve watched the landscape change. What used to be seventy-two miles of the most heart-lifting drive I´ve ever known is now punctuated by drill sites, trucks that are too big for the roads. They´re contaminating our water, ruining our roads, and really... endangering the life of every motorist who uses the road. Like I said, those trucks are just too big. They can´t handle those turns without going left of center, and given all the windy blind turns on Route 7... it´s a death trap. They are talking about putting a plant in close to my home, which would create about two hundred jobs. God knows we need them, but... at what price? I know people are struggling to keep the heat on and food on the table. I´m not too proud to admit that for awhile when my dad´s plant was on strike, we accepted food from a pantry, that the local gym waived our membership fee, that my piano teacher let me come a few times without paying. And I haven´t even felt the brunt of it. I see people I love going without medicine they need, living in the constant anxiety of the heat being shut off, surviving on macaroni and cheese and hot dogs because food that would be more nourishing is too expensive. This is clearly a problem... and not a sob story. I´m talking about people who are willing and able to work, but there just aren´t enough jobs. So this Marcellus drilling plant seems like a good idea, right?... It may be a temporary solution for some people who are on the brink of collapse, but in the long run... it´ll poison our water (and let´s keep in mind that we already can´t eat the fish out of that river), and without water, we´ll eventually be even more bound by this damnable tradition of economic slavery we have in the valley. Our people do back-busting jobs for 12- and 16- hour days, and can still barely make ends meet? Something doesn´t add up here, people...

Then I think about Wall Street and the Occupy movement. I woke up yesterday to news of a police raid happening in the middle of the night. And I think how grateful I am to the people who are there and in the encampments throughout the United States, trying to make a stand for economic justice, because let´s face it... our middle class isn´t just disappearing... it´s already almost entirely gone. The poor are getting poorer while the rich are getting richer. I´m all for a simple life. I don´t need designer tags or long strands of pearls, but I do need to eat, I do need clean water, and I do need enough money to pay rent and medical bills. Anyone working in a free and modern country shouldn´t have to struggle for at least that much. And these protestors are trying to insure that for us. We´ve been talking about the imminence of class warfare for awhile. Well, I think it´s coming... unless enough of us bottom-feeders can link up and actually work together, not punking out when someone comes along and offers to appease us with a few hundred a week... to destroy our own land. Are you kidding me? No, no, no. Because you´re going to get cancer from drinking the water, you´re going to slave away interminable hours of your one and only life, and struggle to make ends meet... to help the enemy.

And on a much smaller scale... people have been telling me forever... Pick your battles, Casie. Well, I do, but it´s just that... every morning you wake up, you´re in for the fight of your life. I feel it in other ways at home, and I fight whenever I´m able. And people tell me to have a beer, relax. But I cannot relax when I feel like people are encroaching on my rights, my independence. The cable company jacks my bill up without warning, I cancel the cable and give them my clear opinion. I´ll figure it out without cable. There are libraries and cafés for internet, and I don´t need to watch TV. I don´t even like it that much. I try to rent a car, but because I´m a week shy of 25, I´m going to have to pay an extra 100 bucks. So I decide, screw it. I´ll drag my junk ass old car to DC. If I break down, I break down. I am told that sometimes I should just accept this sort of thing. I absoultely will not. I know that rules are in place for a reason, statistics namely. However, because I am a good driver and can´t afford the extra price, I refuse to accept this. Someone, somewhere, has to say no. Lately, I´ve been told I´m not going to change a certain situation involving men. I´ve run across a few not-so-charming fellows over here. I´m dancing with my friends, they butt in like they have a right to come enjoy us for the night. I´m at the gym doing my workout, they´re counting my push-ups out loud or trying to swipe the machine I´m using. I´m teaching a friend to swim, they´re piping up like they know better. Just... back off... and I don´t care what´s accepted here or at home. I am not inferior for my sex, and every single time I feel that that´s being challenged, I will stand up to the challenge. I remember my gym class, 8th grade. We were playing wiffle ball of all things. I´d been playing ball for years and wanted to play third base. I didn´t want to stand in the outfield and be bored. In front of the entire class, I was ordered to stand back, go to the outfield. He said girls don´t need to be in the infield, because they´ll get hurt and cry, and her parents will sue him. (Personally, I´d be more worried about a sexual discrimination case.) I stood and explained that I played ball, had taken line drives to my body, and that because I was physically smaller than most males, I had less of a chance of actually being hit by the ball. But this grown man walked up to me and forced me back physically. After class, he employed the help of the high school quarterback to explain to me why women don´t belong in the infield. I informed him I didn´t care what the quarterback thought, slammed the door in his face as hard as I could, and marched off. And I´m not going to stand back here because of my sex either. Period. Would it make my life easier to stand down and go with the flow? Absolutely, but it would make it immensely less bearable as well.

I´m fighting right now for my damn bike of all things. I signed a contract when I moved into these apartments, and nowhere was it mentioned that I couldn´t have my bike in my room. So I´ve been keeping it here in my room. It´s protected from weather and thieves in my room. Then a few nights ago, a man follows me to my room and demands that I take my bike to the common lock-up room. I´m furious, of course, because I´m earning this apartment by teaching for the university, and I´m told I can´t have my bike in here... And where I mentioned above that bottom feeders need to hang together, I felt like he could have so easily just looked the other way. I took it down for him, because I appreciate his position. With the unemployment rate what it is here in Spain, and maybe he has a family to take care of... I get it. Like I said, I took donation food for awhile. But man, was that a hard walk downstairs, knowing I respected him and his position, but that he had none for me. I don´t know how many times I´ve said to people, ¨I didn´t hear that. I didn´t see that.¨ Sometimes the enforcement of rules is really just badgering people out of their rights, especially if the rule isn´t explicitly written down somewhere. So, I could accept it for what it is, and if I was a person who could do that, yeah, my life would be easier. But because I have never been able to overlook an abuse of power in any circumstance, I´m talking with the boss of the apartments about this. I´m explaining that this should have been written down and that I have a right to protect my property, because... I´m angry. Am I screaming in someone´s face and acting like a lunatic? No. There is a way to make your voice heard without acting like an asshole. I don´t always win, but I don´t always lose, either.

A couple days ago I was talking with a girl who was outraged by androgynous hair styles and dress for both men and women, saying that there should be a difference. It´s wrong, she said, just wrong. Didn´t I agree? I told her I didn´t. I told her why, calmly, rationally... but I didn´t gloss it over, either. And you know what? She (and she´s an opinionated woman) said, maybe you´re right. I hadn´t thought about it like that.

I´ve been hearing a lot here about how people from the US are a bunch of imperialists. No, it´s not everyone saying that, but enough that I´m concerned. Am I proud of everything my country´s every done? Absolutely not. We have our dark periods in history like any other country. But what really gets my blood boiling is when I hear someone say we´re all imperialists, because... like I discussed above, that´s not the case. There are probably some in the government who would like to dominate the entire world by force. But I don´t believe that´s true of the majority, and it´s certainly not true of the common person, not true of the poor person who would love for the tyranny to stop so he could just feel secure that food and healthcare would be there. So when my lit professor started in on some German girls yesterday for eating in class (in Spain, this is very disrespectul), I was already getting irritated. I felt like it would have been so easy for him to wait until after class or to walk up to them and address them more subtly. He chose to put them on display and humiliate them. He said it was like putting your feet up on the table, which was very American... suddenly he remembered he had an American student in the class, and asked me if he wasn´t right. I had no chance to take the edge out of my voice, and I let him know very clearly, that no, it was a very rude thing to do. Sure, some people may do it in their homes, but in a classroom, never. Everyone began to laugh. I think they were a little shocked, because this professor really enjoys throwing his weight around over his students. I could list several examples, but it would distract from my point. I wasn´t glaring at him because I hate him. I was glaring because if I didn´t focus, I was going to explode. I wake up in the morning and read about my people being beaten with police batons and being sprayed with pepper spray in the middle of the night, and then I´m supposed to agree with a humiliating rhetorical question about them? He could tell I was upset, and after class he waited for me. He said he didn´t mean to bother anyone. I guess that was his best attempt at an apology, even though it wasn´t an apology. I didn´t know what to say. I basically said, ok, and I understand. What am I going to say?... Oh, that´s alright? Ugh. I plan to go talk to him privately next week, not to make waves, I want to say I´m sorry for not being able to hear him when he was talking to me after class. Because I am. I am all for fighting the good fight, but I am also for mercy. If someone attempts to address the issue, I like to at least be able to hear them. I don´t have to say it´s OK, but it is possible to forgive without approving what has occurred.

There are simply some things that I can´t just ¨go with the flow¨ on.
If you´re discriminating based on sex or gender, I´ll challenge you.
If you´re discriminating based on race, I´ll challenge you.
If you´re discriminating based on creed, I´ll challenge you.
If you´re discriminating based on nationality, I´ll challenge you.
If you are trying to take away my personal rights or saying things that indicate you would like to take away someone else´s rights, I will challenge you.
Now, that sounds like someone who´s all fists and no heart. But I assure you, it is of the utmost importance to forgive, to be gentle. Challenging someone for holding unfair ideas doesn´t mean you don´t love the person. It just means... you refuse to let them go on discrimintating in your presence, at least without a fight.

I´ll never be someone who can let these things go. So I´ll fight every day. I feel better about fighting every day and having moments of anger or frustration than I would about seeing wrongs going on and doing nothing about it. Sometimes you have to put on your big girl panties and have at it.

This is disorganized. I´m talking about ten things at once. The point is, whether in the macro or the micro, it is important that we all challenge injustice and stand up to it.