And let your love fly like a bird on a wing

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." -Mother Teresa

I was sitting in the parking lot of Kroger this evening while John was inside purchasing sausage, eggs, and other breakfast items for tomorrow. It makes sense... and my dork brain drew a graph where "hurt" is the x-axis and "love" is the "y" axis. As love (y) approaches infinity, "hurt" levels off... love continues to increase beyond the graph, but hurt tapers off and goes no further.

So I like the quote but think... it's thrown around a lot popularly. And when it's drifted into the processing part of my brain before, it hasn't actually gotten processed. It was more like, oh well... it doesn't matter the pain because love triumphs. But I don't think that's what Mother Teresa was saying at all. She doesn't suggest any cessation of or relief from love-induced hurt. (For clarification, I'm not talking about the love-hurt when someone breaks up with you or doesn't reciprocate your romantic feelings... I'm talking about connecting with a soul and then feeling the pain that soul experiences, aching for someone else's sake.) She just says, that if your love hurts you, and you choose to continue in the way of love... your love will grow while the pain just stays the same. There is no consolation in the quote whatsoever. The hurt won't stop. It'll still be there, always, no matter what, but you'll just love more and more. So the love increases, but the pain just stays the same. Perhaps you can learn to deal with it, but you won't be free from it.

This quote has always stuck with me because I tend to be fairly empathic. I don't just sympathize with people, particularly people I really love closely... I actually feel their pain. It's like little hooks in me that I can't get out from under my skin. There have been times, many times, in my life where I've actually wished that I loved less. I want to forget about a loved one's pain for a few minutes and just enjoy my own life. But then I catch myself and think, Girl! Don't you dare think that. Don't you ever, ever wish for less love.

And I guess my whole point with this is, if you're someone who's loving until it hurts... keep on loving. It won't stop your hurting. You'll probably carry that with you always. But there's something larger than your particulate little self to consider... there's a whole universe of people needing that love, so if it flows, just let it flow. Bear with the pain. Acknowledge it. And just... carry on. Keep on loving. Dance even while it hurts. Laugh. Dedicate your dance and your laughter to those upon whom you wish more joy.

"Just let your love flow like a mountain stream
And let your love grow with the smallest of dreams
And let your love show and you'll know what I mean it's the season
Let your love fly like a bird on a wing
And let your love bind you to all living things
And let your love shine and you'll know what I mean that's the reason."

Namaste, kiddos.