Ten years ago today I was in eighth grade. I was sitting in algebra class. The seniors in the back row were probably preparing spit wads to launch at me through cafeteria straws. I was working out the values of multi-variable equations, and as usual Mr. Vanscoy was watching the news. I wasn't paying much attention to what was going on around me. We were free to work or not work in that class; our ex-military instructor was nearing retirement and was burned out on trying. I usually worked. Absorption in a textbook was a less hostile environment for a nerdy eighth grader than trying to communicate with upperclassmen. So I was absorbed in my work, probably plotting the slope of a line or something... anyway, I remember looking up at the tv and seeing some tall things smoking. Since we lived on the Ohio River, I figured it was footage of some smoke stacks at the local plants to demonstrate the economic power of America. I was disinterested and continued plotting graphs. Later that day at lunch, a few kids were going home early per their parents' demands. I was confused but still not incredibly interested. I stayed the whole day, ending with band practice. My band teacher, who was younger then than I am now, caught me in the hall after school and burst into a fit of hot tears. Her face turned lobster-pink, and she was going on and on about people she knew in New York and something about high blood pressure. By the end of the day I finally had it figured out what had happened. Like many Americans, I suppose, for a good while after the attacks, every time a plane went over head, I shuddered. I was afraid. I was not unaffected, and yet...
there's a lot of hype going on today, and I'm not sure what to make of it. I don't know how to put together all the disparate pieces of information I'm receiving. "God bless America, prayers for my country..." "Well... I was proud to be an American before we turned a disaster into propaganda and launched a fear-based crusade against the middle eastern countries..." I don't know what to believe, and it's such a hot potato topic. People get angry at each other for believing one way or the other, either that America was the victim but rose up strong in its own defense and the defense of others or that it's a conspiracy and that the proliferation of 9-11 footage is little more than propaganda. I never believe anything I hear on the news just because it's on the news, but I don't immediately discredit it either. I feel there is no way to know the truth, no way to fashion an appropriate posture toward the events and how they should be remembered. But I think that for all of us the best answer is just simple kindness. Sow seeds of love- prepare a meal for someone, call your grandma, hold a door for somebody, smile at someone who looks sad. That's our best security in this world, human kindness, not armed defenses, but it's not easy to come by. Human kindness has to be planted, and tended to, until it gradually starts growing up all around. People have to be able to trust that their acts of kindness aren't going to ultimately be taken for acts of foolishness. And it's hard to take that first step, be the one to start a chain reaction that might fizzle out, might not mean much, hard to be a person who gives out good and has no idea what they'll receive in return, whether goodness in kind or a kick in the back.
The thing is, what matters most, is planting the seeds. Think of a maple tree, all the seeds it produces year after year to hopefully, possibly, yield just one or two more trees reaching up towards the heavens. The reality is, the majority of those seeds do fall and perish. But sometimes, when the winds and soil are just right, a tree starts to grow, and from the Earth it reaches skyward... a little reminder to each of us of the rewards of persistence.
Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.
-Buddha
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