10:50pm... Valladolid airport
Clearly this is going to be an epic journey of hell, so I thought I should start chronicling it now. Our plane didn´t show up to Valladolid, and now we are sitting on a bus getting ready to depart for Santander... four f------ hours away to catch our plane to London. We´re hearing that it´s due to the fog that we have to go to Santander. My guess is the pilot was too drunk to make it or that there was a problem with the original plane they don´t want to admit to. Anyway, let´s back this up a little bit.
Last two nights I´ve slept like awful. So, knowing that I was bound for London today, I decided to pop an ativan for sleeping last night. It worked too well. I didn´t hear my alarm clock go off this morning... or aLEKS (i have no idea why im suddenly stuck in all caps right now... my computer seems to have just had an aneurysm. Fu----- beautiful. That is what i need on the way to santander on a four hour bus ride when i should landing in london in 15 minutes... f------ ryanair.) was calling me from the damn taxi downstairs. Ughh.... so i got up, completely panicked, threw a bunch of shit in a carry on (of course i forgot to pack underwear... contemplating whether i want to buy some new ones or just go commando all throughout my time in london...) and sprinted out to the taxi. For those who know me, you know it is impossible for me to function without coffee. So multiply that by about a million since im naturally a disorganized mess and was still processing a sedative out of my system. (I also realize i didnt pack a razor (and i need to shave), toothpaste, deodorant, or birth control pills... got my multivitamin though, dag gummit) Also, i didnt brush my hair, which also needs to be washed. I just put on an ecuadorian tobogan and went for it.
Fortunately, aleks was all chill and forgiving in the taxi. We got to the airport WITH NOT A LOT OF EXTRA TIME TO WASTE, BUT WE GOT OUR PASSPORTS STAMPED AND HEADED FOR SECURITY. GOING THROUGH SECURITY WAS JUST FANTASTIC. HAD TO TAKE OfF MY ECUADOR HAT. AND MY VERY SHORT HAIR WAS STICKING OUT IN SO MANY DIRECTIONS, INTERESTINGLY FRAMING MY UNWASHED FACE. I JUST DIDNT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ANYONE (AND TRIED NOT TO BREATHE IN ANYONES FACE WITH MY UNSCRUBBED CHOMPERS) AND GOT THROUGH IT. LEARNED THAT VALLADOLID AIRPORT SECURITY IS SHIT. SUPPOSED TO TAKE OUT PHONES BEFORE GOING THROUGH, MOST AIRPORTS WOULD STOP YOU IF YOU FAILED TO REMOVE IT FROM YOUR BAG, TO PROVE IT ISNT A BOMB. I THOUGHT ID FORGOTTEN MY PHONE AT HOME SO DIDNT TAKE IT OUT AND GOT THROUGH SECURITY JUST FINE. THEN THERES ANOTHER PASSPORT GUY, AND EVEN THOUGH I GOT BACK INTO THIS COUNTRY ON AN *EXPIRED VISA*, IN BUSTLING BARCELONA, IN VALLADOLID, THEY INSISTED ON SEEING MY RESIDENCY CARD BEFORE LETTING ME FLY OUT. NOT that THEY ACTUALLY LET US FLY OUT ANYWAY, OR I WOULDNT BE WRITING THIS. SO ABOUT 150 OF US ARE STANDING IN LINE IN THE ONLY BOARDING ROOM IN THE WHOLE AIRPORT AND SOME GARBLED ANNOUNCEMENT COMES ON. I UNDERSTAND NOTHING, BUT I HEAR PPL SAYING... BLAH BLAH BLAH AUTOBUS, JODER, AUTOBUS. THIS DOESNT SOUND GOOD SO I ASK THE DUDE IN FRONT OF US, AND HE EXPLAINS. WE ARE ALL LIKE "·$=)%?·$)!·="·$$%)·$%)))·$%.
AFTER WE WAIT 15 MINUTES AND THE BUS STILL ISNT THERE WE DECIDE... OK, FOOD. OBVIOUSLY NOTHING MATTERS ANYWAY. SO WE HAVE BREAKFAST BAGUETTES IN THE AIRPORT CAFETERIA AND EVENTUALLY THE FIRST BUS COMES. WE HEAD OUT, PUT OUR LUGGAGE ON DECK, AND THEN ARE TOLD TO REMOVE IT BECAUSE THE BUS IS FULL. OH ASS AND TITTIES!!! SO WE SPEND ANOTHER TEN MINUTES IN THE COLD WAITING FOR THE NEXT BUS. SECOND OUT OF 3 OR 4. IM PARANOICALLY STRADDLING MY SUITCASE WITH MY CALVES, HUGGING IT WITH MY LEGS TO TRY TO KEEP MY LAPTOP WARM... AND THEN THE BUS IS THERE AND ITS A DAMN STAMPEDE. IM CHEWING MY GLOVES OFF, STRUGGLING TO PULL MY COMPUTER, BOARDING PASS, AND PASSPORT FROM MY SUITCase, all while being trampled by 100 other angry ryanair customers. Getting onto the bus was like... a blood clot in a plaque filled, athersclerosis-siezed blood vessel- We all rushed the door at the same time. Everyone wanted to slit everyone elses throat, and there was just a lot of shoving. I am claustrophobic, and i particularly hate taking elbows to the boob, (which happens frequently in large crowds due to my height in comparison to the height of the average elbow when it is reaching about frantically) so that was an overall unpleasant experience.
Finally, we are on a bus. I have no idea how this is going to work in santander. I just want some underwear.
Finally we are on the plane. Got to santander in about 3.5 hours. Not bad except for the part where i should already be riding the london eye. Whatever. I saw some pretty mountains on the way hear. Apparently our bus driver was a light rock fan. He was playing it pretty loud, and since i was playing solitaire on my computer, an angry spanish woman to my left thought it was me who was playing the annoying music. She asked me to turn it down in that feigned politeness people use when they want a stranger to do something for them. I informed her it wasnt my music, and we went along listening.
In santander today its about 21ยบ celsius, so my double layered columbia jacket and my ecuador hat were a bit much. Even when we got to santander, our plane wasnt here. I asked aleks, where is the plane?! She replied, oh there is no plane. Now people are stowing their bags in the overhead cabin storage, and the flight staff are being all like, please stow your luggage and take an empty seat as quickly as possible... as if as quickly as possible is really their motto around here. Aleks has filled me with a dreadful thought, so does this plane even work? Oh my, i am not sure if it does or not. Fortunately, all this excessive jet setting lately has worked to ease my once extreme flight anxiety. Now i just pretend to have flight anxiety and use the prescribed ativan for sleeping medication. F--k it. And here we go. Better turn this thing off until we have reached a ¨safe altitude to use approved electronic devices.¨
Well, that´s what I wrote on the way to London. It is now Monday evening, about 8pm, and I´m reporting the rest of the trip. London is altogether a very cool city. I would like to have more time to spend there getting to know the ins and outs of it. The first night, Aleks and I went to the King´s Cross Social Club, a cute little pub very close to the hostel. I ordered a beer right away, London Pale Ale. Well, it was a good beer, but I felt my wallet was completely raped at 4.20 pounds (a pound is worth 1.7 USD) for a pint. After that, we switched to wine, split a bottle of red. Some guys included us in their round of jager bombs shortly thereafter, and... they weren´t trying to get in our pants,lol... The one wanted dating advice about some woman he claimed to love after spending about 8 hours with her. Anyway, it was an interesting evening, nice to be able to converse freely with people without the worry of the language barrier. Plus, I feel like people there were more willing to come up and be social with us than here in Valladolid. So it was nice, and after the drinks and the long day of travel, we slept quite well. I got up for the free breakfast the following morning at the hostel. Then we were off to see the sights. We saw Big Ben, the London Eye (which was, tragically, not working, so I didn´t get to go up), Aleks got a tattoo (I wanted one, but not for an 80pound minimum when it´s something I can get for 40USD at home), Buckingham Palace (very underwhelming, and I found the guards to be stupid and annoying, sort of funny though). My old friend from college, Laurel, met us at the London Eye about 4pm, and from there we went to St. Paul´s Cathedral, saw Tower Bridge, walked past the globe theater, and met up with her boyfriend at a place called The Anchor for dinner. Aleks and I split some monstrosity of a fish and chips plate. It was good... a little bland... I know Brits are known for their terrible food, but it wasn´t so bad really. From there we walked around a bit more, and at Picadilly Circus, we saw some guys doing a break dancing demonstration. It was really cool to watch until the police broke it up, and then we dispersed to M&M World and went for a drink at a pub. Aleks and I, being frozen to the bone after a day of walking in freezing temperatures, got hot tea instead of alcohol.
On Sunday, so... yesterday, I got up for the breakfast again. Just due to overcrowding, I wound up eating with a guy who is from London now but originally from South Africa. He was talkative and had a lot to say about world economy. He was comical and interesting to talk to over my cocoa krispies and coffee and hot chocolate mix. Got online for a bit and then woke up Aleks and we took off for some more sight seeing. We went to Emirates Stadium (for her) and Covent Garden. From Covent Garden, we walked around a lot until we wound up back at Big Ben and then went to the Westminster Abbey. Since it was Sunday, we couldn´t enter the main church area without consenting to sitting through an hour and fifteen minutes service, so we just walked around the cloister area. That was odd and interesting. All these dead bodies buried under the walkways... We meandered up to Soho, which is the gay district, in search of this tattoo parlor we never found. Seems every time I am ready to let someone use a needle to decorate my flesh, it gets foiled. Oh well. Last night we cooked pasta in the hostel to save some money, so that was cool.
We slept about 2-3 hours and then called a cab to pick us up, take us to the bus station, which then took us to the airport. Our flight was at 6am, got into Valladolid at about 9.30, and back to my apartment around 10am. Napped a good bit, watched a new episode of ¨Desperate Housewives,¨ and talked extensively online with John. Went up to Carrefour for some groceries, and now I´m getting ready to go to the gym to get my fitness on.
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